Yes yes yes, I realise this post is the first for a little while. My intentions for this blog and reality got a little askew lol.
When I started it I thought RIGHT, i'm going to blog weekly and whilst I love writing (which is true, I do, although sometimes I just need to stop talking about it and get on with it) actually sitting myself down and focusing on a blog, for me is pre-crastinating (pre-crastination - the art of finding that sweet spot between being given a task and it's deadline so that original thought is at it's most fertile; timing perfection if you like.)
Anyhoo, I digress and in true Sesame Street style, today's blog come from the letters MP. No not Military Police or maximum (security) prison, although what I heard this afternoon on BBC Radio 2 may release people from an emotional version of this, I'm talking about Mary Portas. If you have never heard of her, Google her, I promise you won't be disappointed :).
Mary Portas was talking about why making kindness as a foundation for business and in turn whatever you do, so important and how it can change the future of those the kindness is shown towards.
When I heard this, it really hit me in the solar plexus and the tears welled up into my eyes, because it reminded me why I do what I do but also of how far I have come, both within myself and life in general.
Then something else occurred to me (BAM, just like that) how kindness is just like the oxygen masks that fall down in an emergency situation on an aeroplane; you are always told to put yours on first before helping anyone else, even your kids.
How many of you are kind to everyone else and yet berate yourselves END-LESS-LY! I mean, if we spoke to other people how we at times speak to ourselves, we would become Billy No-Mates very quickly. Normally, we don't even recognise that we are doing it.
The art of kindness must start with ourselves first and foremost, from the little stuff like going to bed at a good hour to ensure we get adequate rest to the really big life changing stuff; like leaving a relationship that is being continually unkind to us.
In between all this external life stuff is the internal dialogue that we all have. This internal dialogue 9/10 isn't our voice to begin with but the from conditioning that we were raised and live with; it's the voices of our parents, teachers, other relatives, friends, TV, social media etc etc...
It can also be the dialogue that we developed in order to keep ourselves safe
If we were fortunate to be raised in a loving supportive household where boundaries were set respected and celebrated, our inner dialogue will (hopefully) be that of kindness, love, connection and safety.
If it was an environment of criticism, bullying, harassment and abuse, then that dialogue will most likely be anything but the above.
When we become adults, that little child within all of us is still there. It's just now, we are of an age whereby we are responsible for our own actions and to change the inner dialogue from from a destructive fearful critical self sabotaging energy to one that is full of loving gentle care and well, KINDNESS, is going to be an ongoing heart felt, tear ridden, messy, healing mindful process. It's time to peel back the layers; think of Shreks' onion here!
It is about parenting yourself and your inner child in such a way that he or she has always yearned for but who's parent were incapable of due to their own 'stuff'.
It's about loving yourself in such a deeply accepting and nurturing way that all of the other critical inner voices from external sources are now treated with the compassion they deserve; these voices are your friends for they were once subconsciously developed in order to